2020: A Year of Liberation
The last year has been one of rapid and intense transformation for me. And it all started with losing my job.
Facing a layoff in 2020 isn’t unique. In recent months, so many of us have had to endure the uncertainty, grief, and shame that often comes with sudden unemployment. But the liberating experience that followed was something I didn’t expect. As I began to process and adapt to this sudden life change, amidst a global pandemic, I decided to give myself real time to reflect and free myself from major expectations. Before long though, the pressure to find my next job started building. In a matter of weeks, the free time I was mindfully enjoying became hastily consumed with feelings of dread, anxiety, and inadequacy. As months went by, I was increasingly confronted by the reality that I had always based my value in my productivity. I finally saw this for what it is, ABSURD.
The implications of this realization are far reaching. Most frustrating is the newfound awareness and total recognition of how easily and regularly I was exploited in almost every workplace. In far too many instances, I became the token woman (or young person, poor person, or neurodivergent) in the room. I gave everything I had to a job because I thrived on the validation that came with proving myself in those spaces. And others knew it. They devalued my contributions and credibility because I gave my power away and didn’t believe in myself. I masked my anger and bitterness over the way I was treated with my gratitude for simply being involved and included.
“I was so grateful for a paycheck, so grateful to represent my country, so grateful to be the token woman at the table, so grateful to receive any respect at all that I was afraid to use my voice to demand more for myself — and equality for all of us. Our gratitude is how power uses the tokenism of a few women to keep the rest of us in line.” — Abby Wambach
Never again will I demurely accept unequal treatment in exchange for a seat at the table.
Never again will I accept the male dominated messages about how my communication or leadership styles are too collectivist, humble, or feminine. Never again will I contort myself in a workplace that doesn’t allow space for me to be different and unique.
We’ve normalized individualistic and masculine leadership styles within U.S. workplaces. These organizations desperately need women and minorities along with their more collectivist and empathetic worldview. In fact, many businesses would crumble without the stabilizing force and work ethic of the marginalized groups in their organizations.
Women have the power and the responsibility to show up authentically in order to create more equity and an inclusive response to our style and approach. I believe that with education, awareness, and community, women and minorities can push back against traditional leadership and carve out their space for respect, leadership, and the credibility they deserve.
It’s time to change the landscape of workplace culture. Let’s do this together! I’m a leadership coach and I help women in tech become genuine leaders despite working in white supremacist and patriarchal systems. You can find my 1:1 private coaching application here or connect with me on LinkedIn or Twitter.
